Good Night Moon

Thank you for snow and warm clothes. Thank you for eclipses and old telescopes. Thank you for nifty knitters and yarn. Thank you for fingers and hands. Thank you for chocolate pudding and spoons. Thank you for family and friends. Thank you for homes and beds. Thank you for readers and writers. Thank you for poetry and essays. Thank you for emotions and expressions. Thank you for Mom and Dad and Spencer and for all my relatives and my friends. Thank you for life and for death.

If only I didn't sin. I don't like it, and I say I can't help it, but in saying so I'm sinning because I can help it, and in not trying not to I'm sinning because I don't even try to stop even though I say "if only I didn't sin" I feel bad when my friends hurt my feelings, and because of that I understand how they feel when I hurt their feelings. It makes me feel lonely and sad to have my friends angry at me so I hate myself for ever being so harsh or so mean to my friends. When we get mad at each other I feel bad because not only do they hurt me but I hurt them. I want to try to stop but when I do, things come up from before I tried to stop, and then I go back to my old ways.

I must be a terrible person. I try to be nice but people avoid me. I may not know them well or be good friends with them or just haven't been around them much recently but I feel bad because they seem to not like me and that means I must have hurt their feelings.

I feel so emotionally and physically drained at the end of every single day. I'm exhausted.